Your Best Investment

Well, ExpatOwl made it home safely on Friday, somewhat earlier than expected in fact. I counted my blessings when he told me that his airline had initially offered him a layover in Houston (due to hurricane Ike)............ UNTIL TUESDAY . I think "On your bike!" was the phrase he used as he demanded a refund and booked in with another company flying through Denver. He wanted to get home, not add to the pressure on resources in the danger zone.

Saturday was soccer day. The fog lay thickly on the field for the entire game. Just as we were finishing up though the sun broke through and the tight denim jeans I'd struggled into semi-comotose earlier that morning, were suddenly just too much. I staggered back to the car pouring with sweat and with a thirst that could drain a lake. The Little Guy was feeling glum. It had been his first time in goal and he'd been scored on three times. I'd prepped him long and hard for the psychological effects inherent to the goalie's job, but to no avail. By the third goal his body language said it all. He was hanging up his cleats.

By Monday though all was thankfully forgotten and normal practice was resumed. He met with his friends walking out to the pitch and happily told me I could wait in the car. There's nothing like a touch of nine year old independence, is there. I was happy to oblige, despite the sun pouring in through the windscreen. This time I was dressed appropriately.

I settled down to read "The Millionaire Mind" by Thomas J. Stanley, a book about the psychology of wealth and sequel to the highly acclaimed "The Millionaire Next Door." This, you see has been one of my hobbies for the past 18 months. I have read an absolute glut of books on Personal Finance and financial psychology. It's all part of my need to understand both the US financial system and the psychology behind it. This desire has led on to interesting discoveries about the history of the US, its demographic make-up and the rise and fall of major corporations that have shaped this country.

My passion for learning more about the financial premises that this country is built upon has, in turn, helped me to understand the way it thinks. Americas culture is derived from its society's response to the financial framework that it exists in. For example, when I first arrived here, I was hugely impressed by the love and care of the community in which I live. It was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. Neighbours ready to help you out at a moments notice; strangers ready to pull together in a crisis. Where had this kind of wartime resolve gone in Europe? Why has grassroots America still got an "all for one" mentality, when my European experiences were increasingly subject to "Me, me, me" thinking?

My neighbours have often chastized me for not asking them for help. I find it very hard. For years I've been conditioned to expect 'nothing from nobody' and have got used to solving problems without family (or my absent spouse's) assistance. My necessary independence is viewed, I think, as a weakness, where once it was considered a strength. This is the essence of cultural change though, for what my friends deem a strength, I have been conditioned to see as a weakness! (Is it any wonder that there are wars in this world when something this small can create such a different way of thinking!)

I am changing though. Last week I had a scheduling clash and was unable to collect DD2 on time. I called a neighbour who happily fitted the ten minute trip into her plans. No one has ever offered me that kind of impromptu help before and, until now, I've never felt able to ask for it.

This kind of support seems uniquely American. Yes, we all have friends and yes, they all say they'll help out, but how many times do we actually feel that we can ask them, without creating resentment because it's not really convenient? The US is the only place I've lived where I truely feel that I can ask for help and, in fact, it's expected that I do.

The reason for this lies, I believe, in the way this society is structured. The lack of government financial support for families here, creates an environment where each community has to rely on each other to survive. With no government subsidized childcare, no federally funded healthcare and no unemployment protection, people are left to fall back on each other for their very survival. While creating great hardship for many people, what rises out of the ashes is a spirit of compassion which is quite incomprehensible to a newcomer.

New Orleans is a testimony to this fact. Three years on and there's still not been a Federally led plan to rebuild the city. Government does not want to be seen to be joining the housing business (they'll just bail out the two largest mortgage corporations instead!) The city has been left to the people to reconstruct. It's the aid agencies, charities and churches who have, not only rescued the inhabitants initially, but stuck around to support them as they start again.

As the CFO of our family, the US financial system freaks me out (and, with penalties for having a short credit history, it makes me angry.) But as time moves on and I learn more about my host country, I find myself increasingly interested in human capital. I'm starting to understand why schools need people to give to their fundraisers, why volunteering is a necessary part of US society and why regular charitable giving (of both time and funds) is so vital to the function of this country. I'm learning that investing in my community is probably one of the best investments I could make for myself and my family.